Once I had a child, I learned very quickly that my life no longer revolved around just myself. With that being said, my son is now two and a half and I have been adjusting on how to live without forgetting who I am besides a mother. It’s a constant struggle between spending time with my family and taking time for just myself. Recently, I have realized that I am a free spirit and I like to live my life how I want to and not based on someone else’s opinion.
Everyday I strive to be a better person than I was the day before. I believe striving to be the best version of myself helps me be a better mother, daughter, friend, girlfriend, etc… The problem is, not everybody in my close circle are supportive of my beliefs. It takes time for me to take care of myself, but how do I know how much time is too much? It takes time for me to study for college, exercise to keep my body and mind sane, spend time with the few friends I do have, maintain personal care, see a therapist once a week, and now starting this blog. Having any mental illness makes self-care even more of a priority because it is easy to go down that rabbit hole when you don’t feel great about yourself.
Apparently, I am selfish, as I’ve been told because I don’t think of other’s time and I am always leaving my family to do my own thing. Instead of being supportive of me maintaining my health and sanity, I get nothing but criticism. Am I surrounded by toxic people who want to see me fail? Am I being guilted to believe I am spending too much on myself? Or am I really just being selfish and not thinking enough about the people around me?