I feel like an imposter, a fraud. I have my good and bad days and this morning started as a good day. I believe I can achieve anything I put my mind to but I still have those thoughts that tell me I don’t. I know it has a lot to do with my past and the people who I was surrounded with that needed healing themselves.
This morning my mom came to spend time with my son so I decided that I was going to go to a cafe and get some work done. Research on how to gain followers so I can reach out to more people around the world. I know there are people, especially women, who can relate to what I write in some way or another. I want to relate to others and help people feel less lonely by knowing at least one other person can understand the way they feel.
My mom came to the house and I told her why I needed a new laptop for school and I just blurted out that I want to start my own business. Her reaction on her face said enough. I could see how she didn’t believe me and thought I was full of it. She asked me what type of business and I said that is what I am trying to figure out. I told her how I want to create my own schedule and work from wherever I want. She mentioned how my brother works from home and how much he likes it so she gets it.
I tend to procrastinate and I know it is because I am afraid of being abandoned. I anticipate getting rejected. This has a lot to do with my history of being avoided and abandoned. I have set impossible standards for myself but I am done with overthinking. I am just going to create whatever comes to me and release it. It doesn’t have to be perfect and that’s okay. What matters the most is my determination and courage to take a plunge.