Ending a relationship is not easy. A friendship or romantic one. It’s especially hard when there is a child involved. Of course as a mom you want what is best for your child. It’s human nature. You want to have his father around and do family things together. As a girl who didn’t grow up with a father in my life, I am familiar with the pain this can cause. One of the reasons I never wanted a child in the past was because I didn’t want the possibility of that happening to my child. Now here I am and that is what is happening.
It was a very difficult decision that I have been pondering on for over a year when I told my partner that I wasn’t happy and that I believed he needed help. I explained to him how I always felt like I am walking on eggshells when we are together. He agreed to start couples therapy but he never went to get individual therapy. Now here we are and nothing has changed. If anything I feel even more unsafe around him. I feel like I am suffocating and he is hindering my growth. In a healthy relationship, the support would be mutual. We would feel safe to be our authentic selves around each other.
I will not have my son grow up to think that it’s ok to be abused by anyone. Not a family member, a boss or a partner. NOBODY. Abuse is not OK. It can be hidden so well that once you wake up you wonder how you never caught it before. I’ve slowly healed that part of me that once thought I needed someone to be happy. All I need is myself and I am ENOUGH.