I have many memories of being surrounded by people who are supposed to be friends and feeling alone. I would just want to sit in a corner and be in my own inner world with my closest friend. There are some times that I have started to cry because I felt so alone. Some people would say I would do it for attention but in reality, I didn’t even understand why it happened. I didn’t understand why I wasn’t happy being around most people.
There were only a few people I felt comfortable with because I felt that they sort of got me, but even those people didn’t really understand me. The more inner work I do, I’m starting to understand why I’ve always felt the most alone being around other people. I felt misunderstood and emotionally disconnected from everyone around me. The only people I have felt any kind of connection with are people who have been through some real fucked up shit themselves.